I like to think of myself as highly extroverted although some might say using the word ‘highly’ is an over-exaggeration. Nevertheless, the point I am trying to make is that I thoroughly enjoy being around people and not only that, but I derive a lot of my energy from my external environment. Some might even say I am PASSIONATE.
I always use that word to describe myself because it is synonymous with a character of impact and ambition. However, what happens when your passion is just not enough? What happens when the people around you feel draining or you begin to feed into the whispers of loneliness? This is not an extrovert problem. This is life!
There will be times where self-generated passion is just not enough and the place where excitement once resided becomes filled with complacency, discouragement and even anger towards people especially after trying seasons. I found myself in that place recently where ‘passion’ could not overcome my frustration. My frustration about my flaws crowded my mind. My insecurities and past disappointment from relationships with people had affected my perspective of life and my thoughts of people. I didn’t realise that my passion for people, for change and even for Jesus was tainted. I had forgotten how to love.
1 Corinthians 13 talks about love in length but the verse that gripped me the most was verse seven:
“Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining stead fact in difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]” AMP
From reading this, I realised that passion is an engine that needs continuous fuelling and in the case of life, that fuel is love, and if God is love, ultimately that fuel is God. It is so easy to get frustrated in life such that your trust issues of the past resurface, you find it hard to see the best in people or you don’t have the patience to carry on. All of a sudden, what was once passion is darkened by criticism, discouragement and worry? I have been there. What we need is not a dose but a good drench in God’s untainted, never ending love to direct our passion and restore us to purpose- to be children of God.
I think David could school us all in this. He said the only thing he asked or sought were to dwell in Gods house, behold God’s beauty, inquire of Him and meditate in His temple (Psalm 27:4). All these things can be summarised in just drawing close to Jesus and experiencing his unfailing and sustaining love that covers the multitude of sin, casts out fear and fuels our passion for life. Maybe what we don’t need is an inspirational talk, a sign from heaven or a tub of ice cream. Maybe we just need to bask in a love that draws us close to our creator and transform us to be more like Him so that an all-consuming, never ending fire burns in us and this fire is sustained by a never ending love not a self-generated one. This means we need to invite the Holy Spirit to baptise us in His fire that we learn to love and be loved because “nothing self-generated is sustainable”. I am human. I get tired sometimes and like everyone else, I need the Spirit to burn away anger in me, burn false humility, burn fear of disappointment and ignite faith, hope and most of all, L O V E. this love is patient enough to walk with someone in need, does not keep record of wrongs so can forgive continuously and does not rely on passion but instead fuels passion to be all about Jesus- the one who loves overwhelmingly and consistently.
I am trying to follow in David’s footsteps in this and everyday I come again to lay down all my perspectives and hype to just be still and know that this insane love is mine to enjoy and share. Joy starts to burn away all my insecurities and I remember that I am a light ready to take position and shine on everyone that doesn’t know the power of the love of God as I simultaneously take the position of a warrior and a daughter of God. I suggest everyone else do the same.